On average we spend only 35 waking hours a week at home compared to an average of 40-45 hours at the office. Based on these statistics it is hardly surprising that the more time people spend at work, the more time they spend with colleagues and the more time they spend getting to know these colleagues well…sometimes intimately well. The office affair has been and still is common place. But is it ever a good idea?
“Sex with my co-worker is amazing! Unlike my wife where sex is considered an inconvenience and interruption to life, my lover doesn’t consider it a chore. We’re both married and we both don’t want anything other than sex from each other. Is it difficult working with her? Not really because we decided early on the ground rules of the relationship meaning we never slip up or act differently in front of our colleagues.”
Josh, 30
For Josh, an affair at work has been a useful and from the sounds of it necessary release from a marriage that isn’t giving him everything that he needs. What about the other side of the coin?
“My wife found out I was having an affair with a woman at work through one of my work colleagues. I didn’t even know they knew about it! The woman I was with only wanted casual sex on the side of her marriage and ended up talking to some of the other girls in the office about it. I wanted more and now I’ve lost my wife, access to my kids and my home. I wish I could turn back the clock.”
Jean-Claude, 52
Jean-Claude has demonstrated something in his account that anyone thinking of having an affair should take note of: wanting the same thing from an affair.
In Josh’s case both he and his lover have approached their affair from the same perspective: they laid out the ground rules from the start and have enjoyed an extra-marital relationship that (for the moment) is giving them both something that they weren’t getting from their spouses.
The Key
From the accounts we have seen it seems there are some wise lessons to be learnt if you wish to conduct an affair with someone at work.
1. Before doing anything, lay out the ground rules from the start. Make sure each of you knows exactly what you want from the affair and are approaching it from the same perspective.
2. Be aware of your environment: the office space is gossip space. You might think you’re being clandestine when you’re actually displaying your affair in open view.
3. Someone will get hurt: It could be you. It could be them. It could be your spouse. It could be all three. An affair is called an affair for a reason. Don’t be fooled and don’t fool yourself.
Whether or not an affair is right or wrong is not for us to say. Only you can decide.
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