This is one for the guys. Let’s take it as read for a moment that you have a good fuck buddy that you like and are really enjoying spending time with – whether that is purely night time or a mix of day and night activities. Things are all good, mostly. There are always problems that crop up, and they sometimes come from her. When this happens the instinct is to try and fix the problem. As it feels like the problem has come from her, your instinct is to look to try and solve her issues for her, to fix the thing that is bothering her. In some cases you may even take the approach of trying to fix her! That last one is a particularly bad approach... but there is another way altogether in all of these cases, and that is to look to you.
If someone else is unhappy, we spend out time focusing on fixing their happiness. Oft times the best thing we can do is look to ourselves and our own self improvement. Doing this will often solve not just the immediate issue, but also a bunch of other ones that otherwise would have reared their heads a little down the road. Allow me to give you an example:
Her sex drive seems to be going down:
I have seen this one many a time. The guy says that her sex drive seems to be going down, that she wants it less and less and that this change means that he isn’t getting any. The instinct is to look to her to see what has changed for her. You know already this has nothing to do with you right? I mean you haven’t changed at all, and you certainly want sex as much as ever. Wrong. Regardless of where it is coming from, the best approach 9/10 is to look to yourself. Do a few things to make your life better and make yourself more attractive. Start working out to make yourself feel healthier. Go join a class or learn something new that you have always wanted to do. It is important that this is something that you genuinely want to do, you can’t fake this. Once you do this you will find yourself feeling better about your life. You will have new people entering your existence, new conversations open with other people, and new skills enter your life. All this is done by doing something you enjoy doing... and suddenly she will start looking at you anew, and your sex life will magically come back!
See what you have done there is taken steps to make yourself happier. She is unhappy, but rather than look to her, by making your life better and happier you automatically drag her up with you! The best part is that this is not a chore! This is not effort, as you do it by looking to things that you would want to do anyway!
So bear it in mind. Look to yourself first and her second especially if it is to do with her attractiveness to you.
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