We all want different things from a relationship. We have different needs, desires, wants, pleasures... we are all unique. I mean that, each and every one of us are slightly different, no two people are the same. This includes us in the bedroom and in regards to sex.
Each of us have our own unique set of things that turn us on and make us come. Certain things for one person can bring them to the brink of ecstasy, that same thing for someone else could be a complete turn off. A good friend of mine uses the terms “bucket” and “torch”. Something that is a complete turn off is like a bucket of water, it douses any potential flame that might be in its infancy. A torch on the other hand burns brightly with the flame of passion – he carries a torch for red heads for example. That’s buckets and torches.
So if you want to find the perfect sexual partner, the first thing is to understand that it selection is the key thing. There is an old cliché – “I love you now change”. Well I say forget that, it is nonsense and we both know it. Instead I say find the person who is the way you want the to be already. If you start by selecting to spend time with a person who you already carry a bunch of torches for then there is no need to start trying to light them. Equally if you start out by sleeping with someone who has a bunch of buckets suspended above your head, filled to the brim with ice cold water, any of which could drop at a moments notice to completely kill the moment, then it is going to be hard to change that set up. So instead start out by choosing to be with someone who gets you a bunch of torches and ideally no buckets at all! So how do you do this?
STEP 1: What do you want?
I want you to think about what you want. List, right now, all the ideal traits of your sexual partner. Don’t just read this, grab a piece of paper or open notepad on your computer and make a quick list. What is your ideal in a wo/man? Don’t worry about being judged; only you are going to read this. What really turns you on, I mean really? What makes you carry a torch.
STEP 2: Top items
Now I want you to star or highlight your top “can’t do without” turn ons. What are they? Anything from big boobs to vegetarian to likes being tied up. What ever it is that for you is a must. Maybe there are only a couple – that’s okay. They less there are the easier your life is!
STEP 3: Find your sexual compatibility
Now whatever you have starred – that is a must. You are not allowed to date anyone who does not have these traits/likes/desires. Period.
If you want to have an awesome sex life, start by selecting the right person to have it with. If they share the same likes as you, then you will both have an amazing time in bed and you both will love your sex life more.
Choose wisely – there are plenty to choose from so pick the one you want!
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