It doesn’t matter whether you are the most promiscuous person in the world and you literally have so many ex’s that you literally cannot remember who all of them are, or you tend to take the more focused approach with only a few partners, at some point, everyone gets the text. This is an article about how to deal with it when it happens.
Getting the ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend text message can be a very dangerous thing. It has the potential to seriously throw your game and mess with your life. That it is going to happen is inevitable, so there is no reason to try and worry about it, lament it, or wish that it has not happened. Its arrival is out of your control, think of it like an act of god or a freak of nature. What you have complete control over is how you deal with it, what you do with it when it arrives.
The most important question to ask yourself, is where are you at right now? How do you feel at this exact moment? This will be influenced by your wider life at the time and will be influenced by:
- How are things are going at work at the moment?
- How are things going with your friends in your personal life?
- Are you sleeping with someone at the moment?
- Have you slept with someone since your ex-girlfriend?
- Are you in the same place as you were when you last spoke?
All of these are things that ultimately affect one main question, and this is the money question: how happy are you at the moment? This directly feeds into you levels of security or insecurity, and will play a major factor in how well you are going to be able to handle an interaction with the ex.
Judge this in the moment
This is important, your wider life may be excellent, but here it is important to make a decision on these factors about how you feel in that exact moment. If you are general feeling great, but the sight of that text message makes you feel crap, then you know that all that other stuff doesn’t matter, you have to assume that you are not in a good place to be dealing with this.
How to deal with it
The reason you want to think about the above is that the answer on how to deal with it comes from how you feel, not want you want to do, and there are only two options here. If you are feeling crap, if there is any hesitation that this is going to play with your life game, if there is an inkling that it is going to affect your nights sleep, then you need to delete the message and not respond to it. Simple as that. If on the other hand, you feel totally fine, you may respond, but still do not have to. One of the signs that you are truly healthy is that you care so little, that you don’t bother to respond, because there is no point.
Remember – you can always just delete and ignore it… And if you are having any doubt at all, ask yourself this: Will this affect my nights sleep?
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