Is sex an acceptable gift to give someone for Christmas? Hell yeah!
With the sleigh bells just around the corner now, it’s time to get your thinking caps on and decide how best to treat your fuck buddy this December 25th. Do you send a card, or do you have each other stuffed together in a sleeping bag like turkeys in a stocking trying every position you can before the friction burns become too painful?
I know which option I’ll take Santa.
Dear Santa…this year I’d like to know the best positions to fuck in
Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! So young whipper snapper, you want to know what this Jolly Old Man has to offer in the way of sticking fillers to tantalise your desires? Well certainly! Sit right back whilst Santa shares some of the most festive ways to screw your fuck buddy this December eve.
1. Stuff her stocking
Ho Ho Ho! This is one of Santa’s favourite festive positions for Christmas. All you need is a sleeping bag, her in crotch-less stockings and suspenders and you’re good to go. Zip yourselves up and see how many ways you can fuck before Christmas morn dawns.
2. Go Down Her Chimney
Ho Ho Ho! Another of Santa’s favourites (when Mrs Clause is in the mood)! Being careful not to cause each other an un-Christmas like injury, place your lady lying on her neck with her facing you and then give her the best festive anal pile driver up her ash pipe that you can. Just be careful you don’t cause a soot explosion.
3. Trim her Tree
Ho Ho Ho! If there were ever a time to do a touch of decoration down below then it’s most certainly Christmas! Take a moment to give her lower branches a prune and when you’re done give her a nice reward by going down hard on her Christmas pudding.
4. Snow Angel – sand can be substituted for snow
Ho Ho Ho! I’ll never forget the time Mrs Clause got all overcome and literally begged me to do her in the snow outside our house in the North Pole after I’d finished a delivery. By gosh I used her legs to make pretty snow angel patterns in the pure white stuff before making her scream in ecstasy. I forgot the reindeer were looking at the time as well…
5. Santa’s little secret
Ho Ho Ho! Now then boys and girls my final recommendation this Christmas is the secret Santa trick. Simply blindfold and tie up your fuck buddy before dressing up in your best Santa costume. If you can get a group of people that you both trust in the room this present is even better. Whilst your significant buddy is bound and blindfolded, proceed to give her the best Christmas fuck she’s ever had before letting her remove your outfit at the end to reveal who her secret Santa was.
Ho Ho ho! Merry Christmas!
And oh yes…Happy Fucking!
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